Tuesday 2 October 2007

Attitude Conrol

Attitude Control: The Key to Lasting Success

Managers, CEOs, Purchasers, Sales Reps, and Customer Service personnel are expected - even under the most difficult of circumstances -- to maintain a professional attitude. But when your supplier fails to meet a deadline, when a strike keeps you from arriving on time for a meeting, or when venture capitalists withdraw their interest as the stock market turns bearish, how can anyone maintain a positive attitude? Forget about maintaining control. You're more likely to shout, "Why do I always have to do everything myself? Why can't other people just do their jobs? Am I who has to show up on time? I give up."

Whether you're closing a sale, completing a report, or making a presentation, losing control of your attitude can divert you from achieving your objective and can damage the health of your business relationships. On a recent business trip to conduct training in the Middle East, the stress of having flights cancelled at the last minute and the language barriers magnified the usual logistical problems we face everyday doing business. I had to work hard to avoid slipping into a negative attitude.

Repeatedly, I found myself thinking of the advice I give to my audiences: "Remember, the real pros consistently perform at their peak, not because they're always in control of logistics and their personnel, but because they're in control of their attitude."

Attitude control involves the practice and application of three peak performance skills.

1. Effective Self-Coaching
When Michael Jordan quit basketball to fulfill his father's wish that he play baseball, reporters asked him: "How can you quit basketball after being voted the most valuable player? What if you fail at baseball?"

Michael Jordan, a master at playing in The Zone where nothing distracts him from giving his best performance, said:

"I'm strong enough as a person to face failure and move on. If I fail I won't feel bad. I can accept failure. What I will not accept from myself is not trying."

In that one statement Michael Jordan tells us that -- regardless of the odds and regardless of the outcome -- he will be there for himself, on his side all the way through the game. Effective Self-Coaching means that we offer ourselves safety rather than threats, criticism and worry. Like Michael Jordan we need to be strong enough as a person to be an effective coach in our lives - keeping ourselves focused on core principles, helping recover from setbacks, and making ourselves feel safe enough to take the risks that make us champions in our field.

2. Shifting to a Leadership Perspective
The gremlins inside our heads complain and whine, distracting us from doing our personal best. Identify the specific words and feelings of these gremlins and be ready with alternatives that shift your attention to effective, goal-oriented actions. Use your usual or "default" reactions to stress and setbacks to wake-up the Leadership role and perspective in you. From this perspective and role -- of leader, CEO, executive, coach or project manager - we are can take charge of our attitude and our life.

Ellen, one of my executive coaching clients and the CEO of a technical editing firm in Silicon Valley, used this technique to double her income in 3 months. She says:

"I used to work with my nose to the grindstone, faxing at 3 AM, totally out of touch with my commitments to my health and my family. Now, I'm doing the work that relates to the bottom line and I'm done before 7 p.m. I'm working from a project manager's perspective where I see the big picture, focus on getting results, and maintain my commitment to my personal life."

3. Choosing to Show Up
When we're in charge of our attitude we don't use the victim's inner dialogue: "I have to show up but I don't want to." Instead we speak about "choosing to show up to do our best." Choice is an executive function that involves considering the risks, consequences, and one's commitments before deciding how to act. Choice is an act that ends ambivalence and procrastination and calls for a united team effort to achieve an objective. It automatically puts you in a leadership role and perspective.

When the computers crash (again), when there's another delay in production, or when loss or illness disrupts your personal life, you're still expected to carry on. To consistently deliver as a true professional -- regardless of the setting and circumstances - you'll need something more powerful than the old "grin and bear it" technique. You'll need to support yourself with the safety of Effective Self-Coaching, rapidly shift to a Leadership Role and perspective, and Choose to Show Up to demonstrate that you truly are a peak performer. When you use these skills you'll be in control of your attitude.

Come Back To NOW!

Centering Exercise

Centering is a one-minute, twelve-breath exercise that transitions your mind from fretting about the past and future to being focused in the present — where your body must be. Centering in the present clears your mind of regrets about the past and worries about anticipated problems in the so-called future.

As you withdraw your thoughts from these imagined times and problems, you release yourself from guilt about the past and worry about the future. You experience a stress-free vacation in the present. Whenever you experience moments of the joyful abandon in play, the easy flow of creativity, or a state of concentration that leads to effortless optimal performance, you are practicing a form of "centering." Use this exercise each time you start a project. Within just a week or two your body and mind will learn to naturally let go of tension and focus on working efficiently and optimally.

Read the following to yourself or tape record it and play it each time you start a project.

1. Begin by taking three slow breaths, in three parts: #1 Inhale, #2 Hold your breath and muscle

tension, and, #3 Exhale slowly, floating down into the chair. With each exhalation — let go of the last telephone call or commute and float down into the chair. With your next exhalation, let the chair hold you and let go of any unnecessary muscle tension. Let go of all thoughts and images about work from the past. Clear your mind and your body of all concerns about what "should have" or "shouldn't have" happened in the past. Let go of old burdens. Let go of trying to fix your old problems. Take a vacation from trying to fix other people. Let each exhalation become a signal to just let go of the past.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I release my mind and body from the past."

2. With your next three breaths, let go of all images and thoughts about what you think may happen in the future — all the "what ifs." With each exhalation, clear your muscles, your heart, and your mind of the work of trying to control the so-called future.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I release my mind and body from the future."

3. With your next three breaths, say: "I’m choosing to be in this present moment, in front of this work." I let go of trying to control any other time or striving to be any particular way. I notice how little effort it takes to simply breath comfortably and accept the just right level of energy to focus on this moment and this task — in the only moment there is, now.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I bring my mind into the present."

4. For the next few minutes, there is nothing much for my conscious mind to worry about within this sanctuary. You are safe from the past and the future. I just allow the natural processes of my mind and body to provide me with focused concentration. I access my inner genius and its creative resources.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I am centered within my larger, wiser, stronger Self."

5. With your next three breaths count up from 1 to 3: One, becoming more adequately alert with each breath; Two, curious and interested about going rapidly from not-knowing to knowing; and, Three, eager to begin, curious and interested about how much I will accomplish in such a short period of time.

Time Management

Time Management Quiz

Notice which of these statements best describes your attitude about time and your current time management behavior:

    1. You start working on projects early - often, the same day, and are rarely late for a flight or a meeting. You decide when to leave so you can anticipate problems and can arrive on time. You are seldom anxious about deadlines because you start - at very least, making some notes - on top priority tasks almost immediately.

    2. You delay starting on projects and often feel rushed and anxious about deadlines, even though you usually meet them. Nevertheless, you wish you had a "little more time" to do them right. You are sometimes late for flights & meetings by a few minutes and arrive breathless and worried.

    3. You often feel overwhelmed, out of control about time, and are frequently late on projects and calls. You try to finish "one more thing" before leaving. You think of yourself as a procrastinator or workaholic who "Works best under pressure."

    4. You're often frantic about dead-lines and are frequently late by more than 30 minutes. You fail to adjust for traffic conditions when planning. You try to juggle several tasks at once and seem to lose sight of the big picture and the essential, top priority projects.

    5. You're unaware of time and refuse to be "controlled" by time or deadlines. You never think about "start times," so deadlines often take you by surprise. You're often late by as much as an hour because you're easily distracted by email, calls, and other projects. It's difficult for you to make the decision to let go of some activity you don't have time for.


Scoring: If you identify with:

    #1 and #2: You're doing quite well. But, those who feel chronically rushed and anxious about deadlines will find that a few Time Management techniques and some coaching could rapidly lower their anxiety and put them in control of their time.

    #3 and #4: You could benefit from a new perspective on time, priorities and the possibility of positive changes in attitude and behavior.

    #5: You may initially resist the need to learn Time Management skills, but no doubt you and those around you suffer the consequences of your difficulty in acknowledging that there's a limited amount of time. Coaching is highly recommended to end denial and to ignite the motivation to learn Time Management skills that will make your life easier, more productive, and more efficient.